The fear of freedom


Is it lonely to stand so tall?
A mountain with nothing, no one else, in its view.
Is it dry to find you have no fear left,
and to know that the length of the universe is nothing but however many steps you take?
Is it terrible to be infinitely alive? 
To have nowhere else, no end, no way to die?
How long,
how long,
how long is it, exactly, to be free?

1912, Gerald E. Jones. The American annual of photography, Tennant and Ward. Harold B. Lee Library via Brigham Young University.

Secret shore

I want a life that is a secret shore,
that no one else but my Love would know.
I would weep and heal there.
I would love and die there.
I would see the most beautiful sunset and take no picture to show someone or sell somewhere.
I would see the magnificence of water and the sun,
Of the moon and the mount
Of the wolves and the hunt
Of the colours of her crown.
I would see where things begin and end, but tell no one.
Because, to speak of that 
would be to crack the perfect cup. 

1922, Internet Archive Book Images. Haynes, Jack Ellis. Harold B. Lee Library via Brigham Young University

The pain of knowing: part three

To know is to hurt.
Because knowledge is pain
It hurts where the world broke your skin,
where the light came flooding in,
where an old beast used to sleep.

To know is to bear the weight;
to always carry a wide, soft, jupiterian-gravity-like heaviness 
on your shoulders ever-ready to brace.

To know is to hope and wait until opportunity emerges, or the time comes
to transfer it to another;
Not for any kind of real release—because that’s not possible once you know things—
but, for the simple reason of not being alone under a mountain’s weight.

2016, Jupiter down under. Juno, NASA.

The pain of knowing: part one

The pain of knowing: part two