I like to make you watch me cry

I like to make you watch me cry.

I like to go somewhere unseeing, unhearing

of ‘darlings’, ‘tell me what’s wrongs’

and other sweet nothings

—a place so far that you can’t save me from drowning.

I like to go there and cry,

while you watch helpless

as salt mountains crumble

and roll down my cheeks.


I like to make you watch me cry

quietly in a sort of everyday horror

while we sit at the table in silence

as if what we’re eating is just dinner.


I like to make you watch me cry

because it takes out my pain and all its pieces,

lays them out in a live exhibition

that you have no choice but to comment on after.


I like to make you watch me cry,

because after that game we just played

where you take the things you love and tear them,

darling, I’m feeling cruel-faced.



1887, The Open court: Carus, Paul. Open Court Publishing company, Chicago.

Secret woman

Woman, you know,

they both work perfectly well;

the plan: A

and the wild plain.

Him, them and the home

have all been tried and tested-

there are centuries of records

of a kind of happiness;

the kind that breathes even, asleep next to you

at night, at home,

between hard walls and careful doors.

There’s also where the others went;

the wild plains where the wind runs right past your skin

suggesting unthinkable things –

like ‘it’s okay, to be this way’.

The wild plain where there’s only the sky,

the wind, the grass and every person that ever was,

its where you begin to ache that not a single one of them was special-

not even the good ones, after all.

But woman, did you know that you can have them both?

– the plan and the plain.

But, there’s a catch –

here’s what it takes;

no one will ever really see you again.

Between the worlds

you can drift in and out

but darling,

their secret was made with no words to tell.

It’s both burning fireworks of freedom

and oceans of lonely pain.

Woman, do you know which way to take?  


Image by laurencedemaerephotography.com
Image by laurencedemaerephotography.com